confused

That's me....confused! Seems I have stepped on some toes (in my family & theirs)! No one will ever know what these wonderful people did for me as a child (teen)! I know I'll never be family but, the bond we share is very special! It does not take love from anyone else! I'm really confused how someone could feel that way! It hurts, but I'm not gonna let it break my ties! I hope our children know we love them but sometimes, we need our friends that we can talk to. They have their friends & lives and do not change plans with them for us. We have done soooo much for our children out of love & concern and, it really hurts to be abandoned by them. I never had a mother who cared! I had sort of a surrogate mom for a while during a time in my life that I felt alone & if not for her (& her wonderful husband), I truly feel I would not be in this world! I guess that's hard to understand if you had parents that loved & protected you rather than hurting you (mentally AND physically) your entire life. I searched a long time for my surrogate parents & was sooooo looking forward to meeting & spending fun times with their children & ours but, I guess that's just a dream that will never be fulfilled.....what else is new? I'm used to rejection......but it still hurts!