Haven't had much to say lately so, I haven't! Life goes on! Sometimes it's fun and other times, it's not! One thing that is fun is Alivia! She was sooooo cute when I had the chance to see her Easter Sunday! I gave her a hat and scarf that I crocheted. It matches her Mommy's! She was thrilled to say the least! This is her in in Easter dress!

So here's the deal....

Since they are making it impossible to have a cigarette during working hours, I am going to give it my best shot at quitting! I will, of course, have a nicotine aid of some sort. I don't want to work somewhere else!!!! I have smoked for almost 34 yrs. That's about 2/3 of my life. All I ask is that people PLEASE have patience with me and in return, I PROMISE to do my best not to be a B-I-T-C-H (see? I spelled that....I didn't say it)!! It will be a very hard adjustment for myself and anyone who knows me and please.....if I slip a little....don't say anything because I really don't like snapping at people I love! Thank you for your support!

Who are you?

This is SO True!!!

Ashlee

I miss my daughter.........

My son is here. It's so great to see him! We were able to introduce him to our good friends tonight. We had a great time, WONDERFUL dinner cooked by my husband! My son played piano. We chatted. It was a lot of fun. I had told them to bring along any of their family who was interested. I guess they were all busy but.... no worries! We had a wonderful evening! I really would hope to have a BBQ with our families next summer. Hope they will think about it. I think we could all have a lot of fun and really get to know each other!

Better than a patch!

Well... I've actually spent a lot of time crocheting lately. Trying to come up with the perfect hat for my friend's granddaughter. One that is not too big for her...LOL! I haven't crocheted in a long time.....and that was dolls. Cute dolls. I made 14 million (seemed like it anyway) of those while I spent time on bedrest. I made one a couple of years ago for a Christmas party. Other than that one, I hadn't made one in about 25 years. It sure helps me NOT smoke. That's good, right? Ahhhhh what a vice. Anyways, I have found this to be quite relaxing so, I think I'll get back into it!

The Good Old Flu

Well....I got the flu shot (not my idea....they made me at work). I have had it 2 times before. 11 yrs and 10 yrs ago. Both times, I got the flu. They say you cannot get the flu from it because it is a dead virus. Funny thing, I haven't had the flu in 10 yrs....since the last flu shot. So this year, I got the flu shot and guess what! I got the flu which in turn, progressed to pneumonia. I do not think people should be forced to have something they don't want. OK....well.....not exactly forced. Kind of coerced. If you didn't get the shot, you had to wear a mask for you entire shift for 6 months. I can barely get through a c-section with a mask on (an hour or so)! However, if they do this again next year, I think I'll choose the mask!

and now.....

down......

Ups and Downs

Things look up a while....things look down a while! Right now....things are looking up!

No Sugarland!

A LITTLE EYE CANDY

Back in Jan., I bought tickets to see Sugarland. Well...it was really Keith Urban's World Tour but, Sugarland was playing lead-up for him. My friend and I really love Sugarland. I like Keith Urban too....don't get me wrong! In fact, he doesn't have to even sing! He can just stand there and let me look at him for a while...LOL! He is a fantastic musician and performer though. He walks out into the crowd. That really impressed me. None of that, "you can't touch me" BS. He really plays to the entire audience no matter where you're sitting. Anyways, Sugarland has gotten their own tour now. I can't really blame them for wanting to headline. So, they were not there. I WAS SOOOO BUMMED!!! However, I did have a good time and did enjoy the show. Little Big Town was lead-up and were very good (I tried not to like them but found myself quite enjoying them...after all.....wasn't their fault)! It was a fun time!

Good days....Bad days

At this precise moment, it's been a string of Good days. I've found this happens & then, there is a string of Bad days. I just hope the Bad days will go away. They seem to be less often so, I'm trying to stay optimistic!

My Little Girl

See this beautiful, happy girl on the left? This is my daughter! I love her so much! She is carefree, a good mommy and sooooo much fun!

Here she is now (above). Where did

she go? I miss her.

regrets

there's a saying ....... something to the effect of "life's too short to live with regrets." well....... sometimes when you feel really hurt, you say things you regret. I think I do that more than anyone I know! so, if I hurt you by something I said (or typed, i guess), I'm sorry!!!!

2 Steps Forward & 1 Step Back

That is my life!

Friends

Thanks to all of you who have been so sweet, kind and understanding these last couple of months! Without you....I think I would be in the NUTHOUSE! I know I tend to go a little off the deep end at times but, you have helped soooooo much!! I'm hoping things will continue to look up and, I know it won't happen overnight! It is such a slow process! I promise to try & keep my emotions in check (I'll probably gain 40 lbs though...LOL)!!

I just don't get it!

What is with kids these days? We work our tails off to provide for them. They grow up. Then, we work our tails off to provide for them.......AND their kids! Sorry.......just a little frustration! I did get to go in the mountains this weekend....I'll post a couple pics.

campin' & stuff

We went camping this past weekend! That is such therapy for me! The really nice thing is....the people we camp with have the attitude, "It's your vacation....do what you want & have fun!" no one gets all hurt or offended if you choose to sleep almost the whole weekend (which is pretty much what I did....LOL)! I did go on 2 real nice (& sometimes scary) wheeler rides! I think I've just had so much stress & so little sleep in the past couple of months that it just caught up when I had the chance to relax! We did have a wonderful time though!

We got home Mon night & of course, I stayed up til around 6 am. Around 7:30 am, I found out my friends were not quite moved out of their old house to their new house. So, I went & spent the day helping them! Now, I have their little doggie as a foster child until......? She is the same breed as my dog and a little sweetheart! The 2 of them get along beautifully (I thought my dog would be jealous but, no she's not)! The thing that gets me is....I came home from work tonight & couldn't find either one! Well....they were both piled up in the bed with my husband! Good thing they're little...LOL! Well, the new baby has now taken a liking to my hubby & refused to leave his side! Why? I cannot figure out the answer to that question! I spoil them as much as he does! MY dog became his dog! Now it seems, this doggie prefers him too! He never wanted a little dog but wouldn't have any other breed now....he just can't help loving them! It's quite funny, actually! They are Silky Terriers.....wonderful dogs!!! I guess I just have to spoil them when he's not home cause they just stick with him when he is! I'll live though....really! In the pics, Paul is holding my dog, Sadie & the other beautiful Silky is our new foster child, Flossy!

YAY!

Well.....yesterday was a very good day! I went to a movie & lunch with my best friend in the whole world! We had a fabulous time (as we ususally do although, it's usually only 1 or 2 times a month)! Then when I got home, my daughter was there with all 3 of her babies! The daddy of the 3rd had taken him 1 month ago and was sorta holding him hostage to try and avoid paying child support! Now, he is home with the condition we give him back.......oh! that makes me laugh!!!! He will not see him again until a legal paper is filed establishing custody! I was unaware a single mother had to establish custody! It's true though! Anyways, point is....he's home, my daughter feels better & grandma gets to see her babies!!!

Love

I love my husband. I love my kids. I love the couple of true friends (maybe not blood...but family none the less) I have!

confused

That's me....confused! Seems I have stepped on some toes (in my family & theirs)! No one will ever know what these wonderful people did for me as a child (teen)! I know I'll never be family but, the bond we share is very special! It does not take love from anyone else! I'm really confused how someone could feel that way! It hurts, but I'm not gonna let it break my ties! I hope our children know we love them but sometimes, we need our friends that we can talk to. They have their friends & lives and do not change plans with them for us. We have done soooo much for our children out of love & concern and, it really hurts to be abandoned by them. I never had a mother who cared! I had sort of a surrogate mom for a while during a time in my life that I felt alone & if not for her (& her wonderful husband), I truly feel I would not be in this world! I guess that's hard to understand if you had parents that loved & protected you rather than hurting you (mentally AND physically) your entire life. I searched a long time for my surrogate parents & was sooooo looking forward to meeting & spending fun times with their children & ours but, I guess that's just a dream that will never be fulfilled.....what else is new? I'm used to rejection......but it still hurts!